1. You know what it means to be a herb.
2. You think that Dino's is better than Starbucks or anything else.
3. You have seen Antioch students tanning nude on campus.
4. Pedestrians ALWAYS have the right of way.
5. You think sidewalks are silly - you walk down the middle of the road.
6. You remember the Bubble Man.
7. You can easily pick out the tourists by their tie-dyed tee shirts and find it funny that they even try to blend in.
8. You're always a little surprised (and more than a little excited) when people from other parts of the country recognize Yellow Springs by name.
8. You watch the fireworks from Gaunt Park Hill.
9. You've often wondered what percentage of people you would be able to name were the entire population of Yellow Springs to form a line-up.
10. You're used to the sound of the F-16 jets flying over from Wright Patt.
11. You recognize non-Yellow Springers by the way they emphasize the "Yell" in Yellow Springs instead of the "Springs."
12. You don't really need a car because you have a bike and two legs.
13. You will always call Tom's "Weaver's."
14. Your bike has been stolen at least once.
15. You think it's bizarre that people in other parts of the world actually bother to lock their doors.
16. You can't imagine why anyone would want to live in Xenia.
17. If you went to Mills Lawn, then you hold secret sterotypes about Antioch School kids; if you went to The Antioch School, you hold secret stereotypes about Mills Lawn kids.
18. You're accepting of everyone - except Republicans.
19. You know Niki Dakota and Vick Mickunas by their voices.
20. You are surprised if there aren't 10 or 20 protestors at the Limestone/ Xenia Ave. traffic light on a Saturday morning.
21. Your face has been on the cover of the YS News at least once.
22. You still paint your face with rocks from the Yellow Spring AND go sledding at Gaunt Park and you probably always will.
23. You've trick-or-treated at the Erickson's house.
24. You and possibly one of your parents was taught by Curds.
25. You sometimes have to drop Dave Chappelle's name in order to get people to pay attention to you when you describe where you live.
26. You arrive everywhere on "Yellow Springs Time."
27. If someone says " New Year's Eve Ball Drop," you picture a broken disco ball wrapped up in leftover Christmas lights that may, or may not, fall at midnight.
28. You couldn't drive over 25 MPH in town if you wanted to because the stop signs are so freaking close together.
29. At least one police officer knows your name, your parents' names, where you live, and, if your dog is adventurous, his or her name also.
30. You or someone you knew broke their arm falling off the eagle's perch.
31. The Corner Cone, or whatever they decide to call it, will always be the Tastee Freeze.
32. You were warned as a child to stay away from IGA Land on Halloween.
33. You think that the police report is the most comical part of the YS News.
34. The second Saturdays in June and October are days when you wish that "Tourist Season" was more akin to "Deer Season."
35. After your parents divorced, one of them came out of the closet.
36. You used to prank-call Herbert Lemaster.
37. You hid Mrs. McCurdy's phone. When she asked you about it, you smiled and told her you liked her overalls.
38. You measure distances in yards.
39. Litotes are part of your regular speak. I.e., "I'm not mad at it" really means "I like it."40. You know what a skillet is, and it's not a piece of cookware.
41. Antioch students will always seem older than you, even if you're old enough to be their professor.
42. You still aren't exactly clear on what SPRAWL is, but whatever it is, you're pretty sure you're against it.
43. You can still remember the first time you successfully climbed the giant pebble.
44. You "played" Perry League tee ball. You ran to fence and back to warm up and then spent the rest of the game building dirt mounds on third base until it was your turn to bat.
45. You don't expect stores to open untill 10:00am. Well, make that 10:15am. . .
46. You walked in the "We Live Here!" parade.
47. You remember the controversy over the removal of a dead tree from in front of the Trail Tavern.
48. You were thouroughly inconvenienced by the construction on Dayton St., and refused to use the detour.
49. You have been, on multiple occasions, very perplexed by the fragmentation of President St.
Return to original blogsite M&M in Africa
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Monday, July 7, 2008
Traffic Cop Hurdles in Haiti and Kin
We have been stopped by corrupt officials in many countries; Haiti, the Dominican Republic, Kenya, Congo. I even had to sit through an "inspection" in Buenos Aires with my university class last January. In Haiti, however, we had several advantages, one being that we spoke the language, and another being that Haiti is the Wild Wild West and no one knows what is supposed to be happening. In that sort of situation, anything can happen, and it's more likely you can talk your way through situations and negotiate solutions. If your intentions are good, it works out. If your intentions are bad, it works out. You need to have a strong moral compass.
Generally, the car we used in Haiti was a business car associated with FINCA, which was a partner of USAID. Therefor, we were given special license plates, similar to diplomatic plates. We rarely got stopped, and when it did happen it was usually by inexperienced cops who were stunned we spoke Creole. Amiable conversation usually won the day.
Once, I was driving a rental car with a Norwegian family. THe traffic cops stopped me, and I portrayed myself as the driver for my boss sitting next to me. The cop asked if we were american, I said no, we were Norwegian. THe cop asked what language we spoke, I said Norwegian. The cop got flustered, asked if it was like English, and I said no, it was like Swedish. That did it, he didn't want to deal with us at all, and waved us through!
In Kinshasa, you have to lock your doors and roll up your windows. Otherwise the police will jump into the vehicle with you and force you to either take them where they need to go or take you to a police station where your car will be impounded. I've seen it happen at traffic stops. Once a FINCA business car was "hijacked" by a traffic cop, back when FINCA was still a partner of USAID and therefor had diplomatic plates! THe US Embassy had to intervene to tell the police that they were obliged to return the vehicle.
But my favorite story is still when I was singled out in a traffic jam and, being new to driving in Kinshasa, I was naive enough to actually pull over. (by the end of my first year, I figured out that everyone usually just swerves around the traffic cops, or else sits there and blocks traffic until they let you go.) My 2nd mistake was to roll down the window to speak to the gang of cops hovering around my car. I knew enough not to let them INTO the car, as they requested, but one managed to reach inside and grab my car registration, then scurry to the other side of the boulevard. They refused to give me back registration!!!!
I was so furious but tried to think of what to do. Paying a bribe just means you have to pay again and again, and I was absolutely not going to live in this city paying bribes to cops all the time. I called up Mike who was with the FINCA driver to get their advice. The FINCA driver is a total mover-n-shaker in Kinshasa, and I thought if anyone knows how to handle this situation, he does. THey were close by so they showed up along with another FINCA colleague. It was a wonderful scene: the FINCA guys are all 6'4" and big, and they walked like a gang up to the gaggle of traffic cops. Mike stared down the one with the registration and simply said "Give it back now" The group stuttered out a few "calmez vous" and meekly handed it back. I never had a problem at that intersection again.
I was stopped fairly regularly after that, often without any explanation or reason. But I soon caught on that it was better to avoid the regular cop stands, swerve around them, or sit blocking traffic reading a magazine until they let you go. I made sure I had all my ducks in order, and obeyed all the traffic laws (well, as much as everyone else did) so that I knew there was no actual reason to stop me. (But the fact is that in Congo I don't think anyone knows what the real laws are, especially not the police.) Pretty soon the harassment was almost entirely stopped. Somehow, they knew the gig was up with me. By the end of our first year in Congo, I started to sympathize with the cops: their job is so crappy. They stand in exhaust fumes, the hot sun, all day, for something like $30/month, and they usually don't get paid for several months at a time. At Christmas I handed out water bottles and gave them a small bonus, on my own terms without their request and without being harassed for it.
Generally, the car we used in Haiti was a business car associated with FINCA, which was a partner of USAID. Therefor, we were given special license plates, similar to diplomatic plates. We rarely got stopped, and when it did happen it was usually by inexperienced cops who were stunned we spoke Creole. Amiable conversation usually won the day.
Once, I was driving a rental car with a Norwegian family. THe traffic cops stopped me, and I portrayed myself as the driver for my boss sitting next to me. The cop asked if we were american, I said no, we were Norwegian. THe cop asked what language we spoke, I said Norwegian. The cop got flustered, asked if it was like English, and I said no, it was like Swedish. That did it, he didn't want to deal with us at all, and waved us through!
In Kinshasa, you have to lock your doors and roll up your windows. Otherwise the police will jump into the vehicle with you and force you to either take them where they need to go or take you to a police station where your car will be impounded. I've seen it happen at traffic stops. Once a FINCA business car was "hijacked" by a traffic cop, back when FINCA was still a partner of USAID and therefor had diplomatic plates! THe US Embassy had to intervene to tell the police that they were obliged to return the vehicle.
But my favorite story is still when I was singled out in a traffic jam and, being new to driving in Kinshasa, I was naive enough to actually pull over. (by the end of my first year, I figured out that everyone usually just swerves around the traffic cops, or else sits there and blocks traffic until they let you go.) My 2nd mistake was to roll down the window to speak to the gang of cops hovering around my car. I knew enough not to let them INTO the car, as they requested, but one managed to reach inside and grab my car registration, then scurry to the other side of the boulevard. They refused to give me back registration!!!!
I was so furious but tried to think of what to do. Paying a bribe just means you have to pay again and again, and I was absolutely not going to live in this city paying bribes to cops all the time. I called up Mike who was with the FINCA driver to get their advice. The FINCA driver is a total mover-n-shaker in Kinshasa, and I thought if anyone knows how to handle this situation, he does. THey were close by so they showed up along with another FINCA colleague. It was a wonderful scene: the FINCA guys are all 6'4" and big, and they walked like a gang up to the gaggle of traffic cops. Mike stared down the one with the registration and simply said "Give it back now" The group stuttered out a few "calmez vous" and meekly handed it back. I never had a problem at that intersection again.
I was stopped fairly regularly after that, often without any explanation or reason. But I soon caught on that it was better to avoid the regular cop stands, swerve around them, or sit blocking traffic reading a magazine until they let you go. I made sure I had all my ducks in order, and obeyed all the traffic laws (well, as much as everyone else did) so that I knew there was no actual reason to stop me. (But the fact is that in Congo I don't think anyone knows what the real laws are, especially not the police.) Pretty soon the harassment was almost entirely stopped. Somehow, they knew the gig was up with me. By the end of our first year in Congo, I started to sympathize with the cops: their job is so crappy. They stand in exhaust fumes, the hot sun, all day, for something like $30/month, and they usually don't get paid for several months at a time. At Christmas I handed out water bottles and gave them a small bonus, on my own terms without their request and without being harassed for it.
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