OUR BIRTHING STORY

After learning we were pregnant only the day after moving to Tanzania, I went on a full rampage to get as much information about pregnancy as possible.  We found out fast that many people delivered healthy babies in Dar es Salaam.  It’s just that there are only two birthing options; natural delivery or cesarean.  Most women, particularly the foreigners, opted for natural delivery.  And so it was that we became immersed in the world of natural birthing. 

In Dar es Salaam we took an abbreviated course on the Bradley method taught by an American doula living in E. Africa for over a decade.  Later, in Seattle, I took a course in Hypnobirthing.  I listened to birthing affirmations and did yoga every day.

We elected to return to Seattle for the birth early on in the pregnancy.  Close to Mike’s parents’ house is a terrific birthing center and a doctor who supported our preparations for natural birth and had worked with our doula before.  I felt pretty confident about delivery and definitely nervous.  Two weeks prior to my due date, I was already 3.5 cm dilated and 70% effaced!

A day after my due date, it looked like Morgan was finally on his way out.  I had back labor starting at 7am that continued until I went to bed at 1am that night.  A long, 2-hour walk, a hot shower and drinking lots of water helped to diminish the aching but it did not go away entirely.  That night, I took a shower, shaved my legs, washed my hair, and then even styled it a little.  Mike and I tried not to get too excited, but we were feeling like this was the start of our delivery.

Then, at 4:30 in the morning I woke up to mind-numbing pain in my back.  I got up, went to the toilet, and saw that I was bleeding a little.  I woke Mike up and forced him to go look at the toilet.  And, being a prince, he actually did.  We called our doula, and then the doctor at the birthing center, who told us that the blood wasn’t a lot and may only be a broken vein, but I should come into the birth center for a quick check just to be sure.  If it was nothing, I could return home to labor more comfortably until I progressed further.   

I got 2 more strong contractions in my back during the phone calls, but felt like I could manage them if I could get a chance to relax in between.  But then my plans all went to pot.  Suddenly the contractions started coming very hard and very fast.  They  were 1 minute apart, and 15 seconds to 1 minute long.  It took us an hour even to get into the car.  On the 5-minute ride to the birthing center I had 2 contractions.  I walked into the birthing center and could barely get ready to be monitored because of the contractions.  They were all in my lower back, and I either didn’t have any contractions in my front or I simply didn’t notice them..  I lost track of time but I remember the nurse forcing me to lay down so the on-call doctor could do an internal exam on me.  Woh nelly, was that the worst pain ever!  Suddenly my water broke and there was blood everywhere.  I focued on my hypnobirthing like a madwoman, and Mike let me grab the back of his neck while I counted down from 40.  (I don’t think I ever made it past 37 without losing track).  I was dilated to 5 cm, totally effaced, and the baby’s heart rate was down to 55 bpm (normal is 120-140).  The doctor looked at me calmly and said she was very sorry but she was making the call for an emergency cesarean immediately.  My own doctor was on her way, and later told me she nearly hit a construction worker trying to arrive in time. 

When they said cesarean, I felt a wash of relief – with all my obsessive research and study, I knew something wasn’t quite right and I was strangely glad to hear that the doctor recognized it also.  It was a shocking thought, considering that my biggest nightmare was that I would be put under a general anesthetic and miss the whole birth, and now I was facing exactly that.  Mike didn’t show a hint of fear, even though he later admitted he was terrified.  I spent most of my time on my side grabbing his neck and trying to do my hypnobirthing.  And as far as I’m concerned it totally paid off!  By the time I was rolled into the operating room, Morgan’s heart rate was back up to 120.  Mike was next to me and I was sitting up on the gurney hugging him while he helped me to focus on the hypnobirthing.  Suddenly the emergency cesarean was no longer necessary.  Crisis averted, but I was still bleeding everywhere and the contractions were supa-fast.

My doctor arrived and Mike and I discussed an epidural.  It seemed like keeping me relaxed was the key to avoiding an emergency cesarean and the general anesthetic I feared so much.  I never wanted natural childbirth just to prove something, and I’d always believed that there was a time and place for epidurals.  Sitting in the OR bleeding, watching Morgan’s heartrate fluctuate and narrowly avoiding my biggest fear, it was my time to ask for medical support.  I accepted to have the epidural so I could coherently discuss with my doctor what was going on.  At that time I had dilated to 7cm, and I had been at the birthing center for less than 2 hour.s

When the haze from the contractions mellowed from the epidural, my doctor had a serious talk with me.  She explained that I was experiencing back labor because Morgan was “sunny side up.”  She suspected that I had a tear in my placenta, and possibly a fully abrupted placenta (torn away from the uterus).  Because I bordering on transition and progressing quickly, and because she knew we wanted to deliver vaginally (now that delivering naturally was out of the question), she said it was technically possible that I continue to labor.  However, she wasn’t comfortable with it.  I would have to be on the fetal monitor the entire time, and given the bleeding I likely had a placental abruption, and she was worried she would have to make the call to wheel me into the OR at a moment’s notice for the emergency cesarean.  Basically, it was pretty risky.

Then she said the words that really stuck in my mind – she said that she felt like the baby wanted to get out fast.  I believe strongly that babies come when they are ready, and I’ve researched how babies may be the catalyst for labor .  I, too, felt like Morgan was trying to get out, perhaps because something wasn’t entirely right inside.  I also knew from my research that a placental abruption can be life threatening.  Vaginal delivery seemed idiotic at that point.  So we agreed to the c-section, and I was wheeled into the OR for a second time, except this time I would be awake to watch the birth, and Mike would be beside me for the entire time.

I can’t say enough about the team in the OR, or about Mike.  Mike just smiled and stayed calm, and he never appeared to be worried (he later told me he was terrified.)  I asked the doctor to tell me what was going on step by step during the surgery, and she did.  When Morgan was born, they brought him naked, bloody, and screaming to me so I could see him, then handed him to Mike for skin-on-skin contact.  Mike cut the umbilical cord (he said it was tough) and held him for the next 30 minutes while I was sewn up.

During that time, Mike learned how to swaddle and hold the baby.  He kept raising the baby’s face to my face so I could kiss it.  I started to feel numb in my chest and head, and didn’t feel so hot.  Mike continued to shove Kidogo’s face in my face and I loved it but simultaneously wanted it all to stop immediately so I could pass out.

Finally, I was stitched up and wheeled into my room.  By then I had feeling back in my arms, and I could hold Morgan.  I don’t remember what I felt at that moment, but I remember the nurse asked if I wanted to breastfeed right then, and I said yes.  Morgan latched on like a champ, and even though it hurt a little I fell in love right then looking down at him.  Mike was already totally smitten, he kept reaching over me trying to pet Morgan, I thought he might just take Morgan away from me so he could hold him again!

The doctor came in to make sure I was okay – she did in fact find a blog clot in the placenta, which means there had been an abruption from the urerus, and if I’d tried to deliver vaginally I would have ended up in emergency cesarean.  It was good to know that we’d made the right call.  My memories of the birth are happy ones, because I was awake, got to see Mike and Morgan bonding during that time, and could hold and breastfeed my baby immediately after the surgery.  We laughed, made jokes, cried with joy, hugged and kissed, and I would have had none of that if I’d had to have an emergency cesarean.

I am also very glad to have studied the natural childbirth methods.  I firmly believe that they helped us to avoid the emergency cesarean and to make the decisions that we needed to make.   I also believe that these technicques, particularly the hypnobirthing and yoga, have contributed to a strong and quick recovery.  

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